Comic by: Unknown
-
-
Copy & paste this:
« Previous Straight From IKEA | Homework Sucks Next »
Too Accurate
» See all 115 comments
Leave a Reply
-
Peanut Gallery
wingedshadowwolf on Guess I’ll Just Have to … Miku on Babies Are Cute, Right? TB on Can’t Tell If a Sign of … Miku on Babies Are Cute, Right? Miku on Weirdly Better
More MEMEBASE
Memebase - All Your Memes Are In Our Base
Freddie Monkey
This Is Photobomb - Surprise! Ruined Photos
Sneakin Behind Yo Girls
Very Demotivational - Work Harder, Not Smarter.
SALMON FOR LUNCH
GraphJam - Music & Culture for People Who Love Charts
When Did the Batteries Die?
Señor Gif - Funny Animated GIFs
The Simpsons Sweatshop
Picture Is Unrelated - Funny WTF Pictures
If You Insist
Derp - All the Derp Durr Hurr that's fit to Derp
Not teh Urrrrmpit
Art of Trolling - Trolls on Chatroulette and Yahoo! Answers
One Does Not Simply Ignore a LOTR Reference
Go Cry Emo Kid - Go Cry Emo Kids
Darn Youngsters and Their Confusing Questions
Superheroes - Superheroes
And Be Gentle
Rage Comics - Express Your Rage
The Joys of Working in Retail
Pokémemes - I choose you!
Away With You, Foul Serpent!
Goddamn it. Why am I the nice guy?
I’m the cat
^this
silly cat,you can’t type!!!
you don’t have opposable thumbs…..
Doesn’t explain the cat community at ICHC.
WTF? Do you type with your thumbs?
ONLY with one thumb.
hello,thisisdog
Hello?
Is that the hospital?
Can you put me through to me mother?
She’s in it.
Oh yes she’s in it!
I’m the rich
I can haz woman?
Why am I the quiet girl…?
Meow?
Better go and buy myself a cat.
My wife tells me that the guys who claim to be nice never are, and that nice guys never claim to be.
This “nice guys never get the girl” cliché is unhealthy and not funny. Relationships are not a game you win by entering the Konami code of love or being “nice” or “a jerk” or “rich” or “a cat”. Relationships are between two people, not one person and a puzzle. Having the right “moves”, “stuff”, “friends” or whatever is not a magic pass that grants you access to your crush’s bumpy parts.
People are lonely, and that sucks. I’ve was lonely for a long time too. I wanted there to be a shortcut, a trick or some kind of magic that would save me from that pain, but nothing did. I had no girlfriend at all until I was 21, then I had disastrous relationships until I was 26.
Then I gave up.
Then I met my future wife. We courted for a month and then married. It’s been 10 years now and we’re closer than ever.
The secret is that there is no secret. Just be awesome and some day you’ll run into someone else who is awesome like you and both of you will want to be awesome together. If you think you’re lonely because you’re too nice, you are absolutely wrong and you’re insulting all the people who are in relationships.
tl;dr
dr;tl.
tr;dl
turtle
dl;lt
combohere,breakit
too legitimate; didn’t repudiate
Too legit. Didn’t quit
^This
now I just have to wait for 8 years
:stillforeveralone:
Long winded guy is right. I’ve never met a guy that claimed to be nice that didn’t treat women like things to win in a game instead of people to interact with. When you’re whining about the friend zone remember it only takes a single breath to say. “I would love to tear your clothes off and ravish you right here.” and a lifetime to play silly games.
But then again, wouldn’t that qualify the ‘nice guy’ as a jerk?
Besides, girls should stop fooling themselves. Some might say that a dude may claim to be ‘nice’ when all he wants is to get in a girl’s pants but, sorry to spoil it but the truth is, sex is the end goal of every romantic relationship. The only difference between the nice guy and any other man is that the nice guy still hasn’t learnt to lie well enough to get in your pants.
“Some might say that a dude may claim to be ‘nice’ when all he wants is to get in a girl’s pants …”
There are some who conflate sexuality with jerkyness. Humans are sexual beings and there is nothing “jerky” about wanting to bone down. It’s not even jerky to ONLY want to sleep with someone and have no other interest in them. The jerky behavior sane people are complaining about is when people are dishonest about what they want.
This is also a two-way street and applies to all genders and preferences. Girls who try to get into guys pants by claiming they are looking for a life partner are also jerks. Same goes for every other configuration of partnership.
There are also crazy people and nobody should get together with them for any length of time. Crazy does not wash off.
“…sex is the end goal of every romantic relationship.”
That is not true. Sex and romance often go together but they are not the same thing. My wife and I have no intention of procreating and intimacy was never the end goal of our relationship for either of us. Intimacy is the icing on the super-mega-ultra-friendship cake that is our marriage. We are partners first, friends second and lovers third. If all we wanted was sex we wouldn’t have committed to each other, we would have just banged.
“…the nice guy still hasn’t learnt to lie well enough to get in your pants.”
This is an incredibly sexist point of view. For one thing it presumes that women only have sex against their will. This attitude is bad for you, her and everyone else. Research shows women generally want sex about as much as men.
Welcome to the 21st century! Time to grow up.
nah they’re just too weak to say what they mean then complain that they only get what they ask for. lying is all that that kind do. all “I’m your friend I understand, I’ll always be there for you. You’re safe with me.” while the “jerk” says “you’re beautiful I would love to go out with you let me help you out of those clothes.” Don’t complain that women don’t bang guys who act like eunuchs.
I agree with you about all you said..
Except: “some day you’ll run into someone else who is awesome like you and both of you will want to be awesome together”.
No.
Chances are you – the one reading this – will never find a girl to share your life with. You will live your life alone, gradually slipping deeper and deeper into a permanent black depression and eventually die – be it natural or otherwise (Hint, hint) – alone and be forgotten by existence itself for all eternity.
Wrong. each year you’ll lower your standards and self esteem until finally you settle for someone you’d never have considered in your prime figure that’s the best you can do and pump out a couple units who’ll go through the same thing.
^ this. The “nice guy” thing is nice and comfortable for the socially-awkward nerds who still want to feel superior to people without putting in an effort to learn how to interact. My answer? Grow a pair. Jerks don’t get girls because they’re jerks. They get them because of self assurance. Guess what? Self confidence (until it turns into full-blown arrogance) is attractive.
thankyouguysforyoursupport
*getsinbathroomandcries*
Nice Guys get the leftovers, true story
weak guys get the leftovers nice guys get what they ask for.
Yup, your wife is right. I’m with a guy right now and when I first called him a nice guy he got confused because he didn’t realize that he was one.
Most of the guys who call themselves “nice guys” are only nice to get the girl, not nice just for the sake of being nice. Which makes them not-so-nice. They will fawn over a girl, doing everything they can for her, but if she ends up in a relationship with someone NOT them they either run away, or try to ruin the new relationship, no matter how happy she is.
And anyway, the same could be said for the “nice girls” who do the same exact thing.
THANK YOU. I’m sick of so-called “nice guys” from my Friend Zone who never hit on anyone complaining that they never get a date before turning around and making rude, sexist jokes. People aren’t jerks just because they’re in relationships while others aren’t.
haha, I was coming here to say the same thing.
WENT OFFFFF
true story, you worded this perfectly, thanks
^this
Or…you know, be a rich, handsome, annoying sasshole.
Because, really…who the hell courts when you have a freaking Lamborghini.
People are selfish creatures, will always be selfish and the girl you like will never be happy.
Why? Because, you are not handsome, you are not rich, you are not a jerk and you can’t give women things.
Fluttershy also likes cats ^.^
ts;dr
Why is there a dating website based on Memebase?
A man says “I’m a Nice Guy!”
A man means “I’m a whiny self entitled little beta-male b!tch who thinks that if I do one nice thing for a girl I have bought unlimited access to her nether regions!”
A man says “Nice Guys finish last. It’s so unfair!”
A man means “I did one nice thing for a girl and she DIDN’T immediately bend over and offer herself to me! What a b!tch! Life is soooooooo unfair!!! I need to whine about it and become even more of a jerk than I already am because now I have a wonderful excuse to classify all women as b!tches!”
You seem pretty defensive, did we hit too close to home?
My brother does this sh!t. He does it ALL THE TIME.
….And then he whines to me about how “lonely” he is and about how all girls are “b!tches”. He will whine and whine and whine about how he’s such a “Nice Guy” and that life is soooooo unfair to him.
After hearing somebody make this same complaint 50 times, you’re less likely to be patient about it, you know?
Ok, you sound like a sweet girl so I won’t push the issue.
LOL
Just a comment, “nice guys” are often considered nice because they prefer relationships and emotional intimacy to sex… But there seems to be an image of men in our society as sex-craved dogs who would only ever be nice to a girl to have sex with her.
Nice Guys are different because they have a sense of decency. We are unwilling to pressure a woman just to get in her pants. If she eventually decides that she wants us there, hey great! if not, oh well. You’re right, though, about the emotional connection. We prefer deeper relationships that are based on solid foundations. Self-assurance and self-confidence are pure ego, and entirely superficial. The jerk could care less, as long as he gets some. At which point, he naturally assumes the sweet girl type is easy prey and goes looking for a harder conquest. Sweet girl then comes back to cry on the Nice Guy’s shoulders, and out of a mature sense of decency, we do. All the while we very delicately and subtly try to get her to see the folly that we saw coming.
In an offbeat kind of way, it’s like the philosopher Ssu-Ma said (paraphrasing):
If you store up money for your descendants, they’ll waste every dime.
If you store up books for them, they’ll never read a word.
Better to store up hidden virtue, for that will last a long time.
Moral of the story? Don’t bother with the superficial (the hot jerk), look instead for men with hidden strengths (Nice Guys). Those who have them will be better for you in the end.
people who spend all their time hiding their virtue rarely have time to cultivate any. The guy who’s strong is healthy the man who’s energetic is in love with life the man who asks you out has confidence in himself. The man who’s weak is sickly the man who’s quiet is detached the man who doesn’t ask you out is self defeating.
nonsense. Hidden virtue simply means one doesn’t go about flashing it around like it was bling. It’s actually easier to cultivate virtue if you’re not constantly flaunting it. Because people are generally preoccupied with the surface, it stays hidden by not being noticed rather than by not being cultuvated.
Also, your paradigm needs work as the equations are flawed. Strength does not equate to health any more than being quiet equates to being detached. I have always been a quiet guy, but I am by no means detached from people and the world. Rather the opposite is true. It just means i don’t have to go out and make noise to get stuff done. One can have one quality without having both. or they can have both without there being any connection between the two at all. Both are possible, but neither can be logically equated. Causally connected, maybe.
Example: the guy who’s energetic is frequently (not always, but often) simply hiding his depression behind a socially acceptable facade. One of the more significant qualities of sociopaths is that they are typically very energetic, and they’d rather watch the world burn.
Same thing goes for the guy who asks you out. It doesn’t mean much of anything other than that he’s interested in you.
lol at use of “we”
+1 to you sir. I’m not going to propose that some of these other “nice guy” examples aren’t true at times but its nice to have someone argue for those of us who are nice and don’t try to jump in a girls pants without being whiny and feeling subsequently entitled about it. Some of us are nice for the right reasons.
Works both ways. When you’ve had the same sweet girl cry on your shoulder 50 times because she chose a jerk over a decent Nice Guy and ended up spurned, it gets old, too. Ladies, please excuse us if we don’t particularly feel like hearing all the gory details of your latest failure. Not that we won’t listen, but we reserve the right to say we saw it coming from the start.
sorry girlfriend but did you ever try flirting with her instead of putting on your little princess pajamas and eating ice cream and watching thelma and louis and talking about how much guys suck thus making sure she never thinks of you as a man ever?
I think you’re taking it the wrong way, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and suggest you reread the post I was replying to and them my post.
For the record,
I don’t watch rom-coms (never interested me), I’m married, don’t deprecate guys (in general) or myself, and oh yeah, I serve in the US Army. We don’t do princess pajamas. When I tell them, “I saw that one coming”, I’m talking about the pattern she has gotten herself into. There’s one way to change it, and it’s not through wash, rinse, repeat. Choices have consequences. That’s the part of it you missed.
A man says, “I’m a Nice Guy!”
A man means, “I actually listened to what women say they want and did my best to do those things. Why are they rejecting me for being what they claim to want? Why are they lying to me? Why are they lying to themselves? Why do they use me like an emotional tampon to complain about jerks, and then go date another jerk??”
A jerk says, “Because you were stupid enough to listen to what a woman says rather than watch what a woman does. Now be a good boy and be the safe and unexciting person she goes to when she needs an ego boost because I haven’t called her back in a week, ok?”
A man should realize: “Just because you do what a woman says she wants doesn’t mean you will be attractive to her. People’s attractions are subconsciously altered by pheromones. If your pheromones aren’t doing it for her, there won’t be a strong attraction. Romantic relationship not possible, but potential for a strong friendship if you can get over your feelings (difficult to do).”
Attraction is only partly pheromones. There are other components, non-material and non-tangible components. Nice Guys maximize the potential for eventually developing a relationship by showing her that there is a place where her needs are met. Of course, to the extremes, as with all things, this loses merit. Do it too much and she thinks the guy is spineless and just interested in getting in her pants. Do it too little and she thinks the guy doesn’t care. But it’s not just a physical thing that creates attraction.
Don’t underestimate the importance of physical attraction.
And not just looks, 90% of communication is done non-informatively (not through the meaning of the words said) and by far the largest past of the physical cues that decide whether a person is attracted to another are noticed but subconsciously…
Nah, we know better. We are doing what they want, knowing full well what we are getting into. Sometimes the only way to show you care is to stick around and try and show you a better way. Eventually, once they’ve been burned enough by the jerk, most women come around. but by then, it’s too late. We grow weary and reach compassion fatigue. Once that happens, as much as we like them and care about them, we decide it’s just too much hassle or we snap. See ActorPat’s video “8-bit Ho” on Youtube for what that looks like. At that point, the sweet girl wants us to be her rock, and there’s just no rock left. Is it wrong for us to then lament the passing of all the care and effort we put into her? I don’t think so. We move on, too.
And this brings us to Memedates…
Which brings us to trolls.
Haha, the arrows go up der bums
Not the knees?
Should have gone for the quite girls. Always the best
girls don’t like guys who are jerks. Girls like guys who are hot. A lot of the time, guys who are hot are aware they are hot (because they’ve been told so throughout their lives) and therefore become jerks about it.
^this
On the topic of nicety; I believe I can claim to be nice, on account of having been told so – on multiple occasions by the oddest of individuals. What I don’t get, is who on earth would connect Nice Guys to this obsession with the ideology of bonery that seems so prevalent on the Internet these days. I would say it’s just reasonable to start with the hugging and holding hands business, and work one’s way up (or down) from there, but maybe I’m just gay. (No I’m not.)
I agree entirely.
The “nice guy” who isn’t satisfied being friends with the sweet girl seems like a totally wonderful guy. I’d sure like to have him as a friend – oh, but he’s going to be grossly passive-aggressive if I turn him down? Well that’s totally an incentive to consider him as a potential partner.
Would you want to be friends with a guy you had feelings for? Every time you saw him you’d constantly wish he’d wake up and realize that you’re the perfect girl for him… Friendships like that don’t work very well.
^This.
Sadly.
Actually, that isn’t even entirely true. I speak from experience on this one. I was good friends with a guy that I did develop feelings for, but they weren’t returned. Sure, it hurt like hell. It’s going to hurt. But, I moved on, got over it, met a couple of other wonderful guys since then. And hey, four years later, and he and I are still best friends.
Though I do see your point. It definitely isn’t easy, by any means.
I’m the quiet girl with the cat.
#ForeverAlone
you’re not alone if you have a cat.
I have 3 cats.
And the nice guy and the jerk end up being the same person and the sweet girl just cries with her cat :’(
Nice guys who call themselves nice guys think they deserve ass because they’re nice. Like being nice to a girl is doing them a favor.
Guys, don’t call yourself a nice guy. Just be one.
fshkdxtyjgvcwxbrtbg lol i’m a cat.
This chart is totally inaccurate.
There’s no way anyone would ever express any sort of interest in me.
That quiet girl is so me! XD
I swear I’m going to die an old cat lady. I don’t mind it however. I wouldn’t mind having a bf too someday. I guess things will come in their due time. Or not. I am ridiculously passive… and I don’t care! XD
You love her
but she loves him
And he loves somebody else
you just can’t win
And so it goes
till the day you die
This thing they call love
it’s gonna make you cry
I’ve had the blues
the reds and the pinks
One thing’s for sure
(Love stinks)
^this
I used to have a cat, but he left me for someone else.
i love the quiet girl …i’m going to stalk cat food sections
If you really can’t compete with a cat I’ve got some bad news for you…
Rich must be a really cool guy.
I say he’s a Dick.
I’ve noticed that some guys who say they are nice are not. They are just insecure jerks.
I think the cat wins this scenario.
Damn it feels good to be a cat
I’m a nice guy and i have a cat. so i think i win
I was going to say, the obvious solution is for the nice guy to get a cat. Then maybe he and the quiet girl can bond over their love of cats, get married, and have several dozen cats.
The “Nice Guy” is the guy who either lacks confidence or is generally unattractive. To get a girl, they usually have to do crazy things like be honest, listen, and care about the care about the girl. The girl, in turn, sees him as a safety net and places him in the friend zone to make her feel better about herself when “The Jerk” acts as the jerk. Its an unfair cycle, but it is necessary to pass on strong alpha genes. I’m not on the chart. I’m the quiet guy with a ferret.
Rockin’ intellect, quiet, plus ferret = probably secretly popular with the ladies, but doesn’t fully realize it. Though with the population being what it is, and social conditions being what they are, I would actually question the genetic usefulness of “The Jerk”. We’re to the point socially where the younger generations are more connected and work together better than past generations did. As that trend increases, the beta male (the nice guy) should be more genetically attractive.
Yeah, well, there are a lot of things that SHOULD have happened a long time ago, but…
We already saw it in Japan, and Bieber is the first proto-wave of it here. Look up the plight of the grass eaters. Japan spent two decades in a recession, and now it’s the manly men, the strong, alpha playboy types (noted on the chart above as the jerk, although there are differences) who were so popular when money was good who can’t get dates and are stuck buying women’s time at the local Izakaya or hostess club. We’re next in line for that. As economic conditions fail to really improve (plan on it), attraction to stability increases. The beta guy who is willing to stick it out and keep a job will appear more stable than the playboy, the jerk, or the charging-at-full-speed alpha (whose workplace behavior is at best, questionable in a collaborative environment). Confidence in one’s self (subconsciously paired with the ability to produce strong offspring) will end up taking a back seat to someone who can reliably put food on the table.
Woah lots of coments talking about this…I’d better say…
It comes from Cuantocabrón *Trollface*
Guys, you’re all doing it wrong, the secret is to disregard females, acquire currency.
well played, well played! Of course when you disregard them, there is the offhand chance that they will be more attracted to you in a reverse psych kind of way.
As far as I know I am going to end up a cat lady, (#catsareawesome)
I like the nice guy who likes another nice girl. WHERE DO I FIT IN? In the gutters, that’s right.
Now any questions for the cat lady?
For my cat whos name is foxy?
That’s fine, I will just ask myself a question. Self, why you so nice? Because cats are nice. Cats are awesome. *hugs cat* Don’t you dare pee on me.
Good point there self.
Agreed. Life must equal Cats.
CATS?! WHY YOU NO LOVE ME UNLESS I HAVE TREATS?!?!?
Nothing wrong with liking cats, being overly dramatic however…
is absolutely awesome *self high five*
This is too funny, just because I’m considered a sweet girl (by all my guy friends, at least) and the guy I like is considered a jerk by most of my girl friends, even though he’s really nice to me. Does that mean we’ll be together? xD
So no one else noticed this was copied straight off cuantocabron?
This only proves nice guys are actually jerks in disguise…
…God this comment feed has left me depressed.
Hey! I’m the quiet girl but I have a dog (black cross pitbull). Not much into cats – sorry.
Reading all this, I’m at a slight lose for words.
Everyone is wanted and needed for testing. Just something for you to think about.
I’m not entirely sure what you mean by this…