Yeah, anybody call the cops on these broads?
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Abso-fucking-lutely true. Twilight – *Thumbs down*
wheres buffy when you need her -.-
f**k buffy! where’s blade?
Win!
f**k blade! where’s alucard?
FIRST !
Noup…not really
aww cmon leave mcfirst alone,(he knows not of what he does!)
Oooh Ooh Question!
Could we get Alucard to kill the fake vampires?
Seconded.
Thirded
motion passed, now dispatching.
You might want to look a bit more eastward, he’s using the pseudonym Genya Arikado.
Yeah, thinly-veiled Alucard is thinly-veiled.
I vote we call in Barnabas Collins as support.
*sigh* now whenever i tell people that i am a psychic vampire, they ask me to go in the sun, to see if i sparkle… really messed up part… i’m not kidding
This is the part in which you reply:
No, because:
a) I’m not gay.
and b) I’d actually desintegrate into thin air.
actually i am homosexual and i do not desintegrate into thin air, in the sun, though my eyes are sensitive to UV radiation. being a psychic vampire means that i do not produce enough life energy and need to take it from elsewhere.
That part about taking “life energy” from elsewhere applies to everybody. It’s called eating. If you’re a plant, it’s called photosynthesis. Also, everybody’s eyes are sensitive to UV radiation, to varying degrees.
what he means by elsewhere is that he needs to interact with other people and use their energy so yes it is form of Vampirism
And solely exists in the messed up heads that believe it.
I agree with Chardrak. I think it’s just an excuse people use to call themselves a vampire because it’s ‘cool’ these days.
Edit:
a) I’m not a fairy.
b) I need to kill people in order to live.
BOOM!!! perfect
How ever did you survive as a baby??
are you sure that your not just so boring that you take the life out of a party?
i tell people that i am a psychic vampire,… i’m not kidding
Hee hee ! IMMD !
I’v heard about those psychic vampires on Coast to Coast AM. Never really bought into that, but anything’s possible I guess.
telling people your a psychic vampire just makes you an idiot…oh and they ask you that because they’re making fun of you…no one likes you
Oooooh, so you were the lame goth kids that pretended to be psychic vampires before Twilight invented a new kind of lame. B/c, dude, I’ve known people who claimed they were ‘psychic vampires’ before. It’s ALWAYS been stupid. Even us other goth kids hate you.
Yeah, I feel for you, man. I used to get the same thing when I told people I was Superman – they just used to ask me to touch some Kryptonite to see whether I got weak.
In the end, I had to stop telling people I was something made up and get on with my life.
HAHAHAHA! you shouldnt have said your anytype of vampire…pffft HAHA! i cant even insult you!
psivamp, one word, wow, fuckin psycho, youre not a vampire. grow up. and every psychic they put on that exposed show, gets just that, exposed. FAKE
None whatsoever, sir, you’ve made your point perfectly clear.
hmmm i think it should have said “Vampire – Sparkling gay bastard – Vampire – Sparkling gay bastard – Any questions?” but thats just my opinion ^^
If your name refers to the ship and I have a feeling that it does, I want us to be clear on a point. It is not “The Serenity”. Its “Serenity” plain and simple. Now, any questions?
Thumbs up, dude. “I can’t go out into the sunlight because I sparkle and people will know I’m a Vampire!” . . . No they’ll just think you are homo.
Yes i have a question. why did you make this crap.
Not funny
I beg to differ, this is very funny. Moreover, this is spot on.
Oh Noes. Y did they make a Crap-movie named Twilight?!
meh.
why did they even make the book in the first place?
You need a sense of humor transplant then, STAT! Because it’s hilarious!
Though I would’ve found a way to squeeze in LaCroix from Forever Knight if I made it.
Exactly!! It’s hilarious because of this crap. Spot on, chap!
I agree with Theserenity- that would be funny!
THIS
also bonus for using Sean Connery
Agree
I love Sean Connery, especially Indi’s dad. However, this is a fail for using him. It should’ve been Anthony Hopkins or heck, even Hugh Jackman as ‘Van Helsing’.
True, so true. However, you really can’t lose using Sean.
I guess we could fling some theme in by saying he dug them up? *rimshot*
lol, never gets old.
Fuck Twilight, and fuck the ‘vampires’ in it.
agree compleatly and tbh bella lugosi was the best dracula ever lol
this was done better here: http://comixed.com/2009/12/02/the-de-evolution-of-vampire-machismo/
They missed The Lost Boys though.
very true
The Also missed Nosferatu (1922)
They missed a LOT, but it works. Premise remains.
:dons asbestos suit:
I will freely admit that I have enjoyed both Twilight movies. I’ve even read the first book and enjoyed it.
That being said, yes I fully appreciate the humor to be found in sparkling vampires and the angsty teen drama of the Twilight series. It is hilarious, and I think this entry is hilarious!
Also, did anyone else go back and re-read the whole thing in Sean Connery’s voice once they hit the final panel? Genius, I tell you! Surf Wisely.
Your asbestos suit is powerless before the collective vitriol of the Internet! Bow! Bow to the weight of conformity!
But seriously, Twilight sucks.
Read ‘Breaking Dawn’. You’ll want to break something with it, and you will change your mind.
Well, at least you DO have a sense of humor… and apparently you’re not one of those puny drama teen.
That being said, I think Ann Rice should be awarded : “Inventor of the most kick ass Vampires ever and every vampires should be inspired by her MYTHOLOGY.”
As much as I adored Ann’e’ Rice, I must say, no. The whine would outdo the cheese.
well, yeah, men sees it that way… women sees it this way:
not hot
hot
not at all hot
sexy and hot
Yeah, not so true.
real women prefer real men; sparkling pansies are not and never will be sexy or hot.
give me connery any time over some angsty “pretty boy”.
remember though if they start taking all they women, we always have the ability to kick their asses.
awesome thank you for posting this. what is worse than twilight fans? twilight moms who are fans. d’oh! i have one. -.- no i am not an effin fan but both of my sisters are. ffs.
I didn’t know God had sisters.
wauw. can i ask them out?
hey did you guys hear the joke that they don’t tell to gay people?
yep’
Yup, heard it yesterday. It’s a good one.
I haven’t heard it. What is it? Tell me!!
Yeah, I did. Funny, eh?
So there are 103 fags/stupid girls on this website? Thats just sad.
Win in my book, especially cuz of Sean Connery
The real trick to the Twilight vampires are they are so idiotically teen angsty that you want to slit your own throat for them. However, I do have to point out, the author of these horrendous books is making an absolute killing off of this stuff. AND her great-grandkids will still be making money off of it. Kind of a shame what the human species has reduced itself to, huh?
I can’t agree more… The shocking part is not that Twilight has been invented… it’s that it’s being supported :’(
Yeah, I have a question? Do you have any “Not vampire” pictures that don’t include Edward Cullen? Because, you know, with so many damn modern vampire sources, like “True Blood,” “Underworld,” and the Darren Shan Saga, there’s gotta be at least one that could also fit.
There are quite a few of these sex-driven vamps around, I gotta state. Just take a stride down the ‘Paranormal Romance’ aisle if you want to get the twitches…
Those movies and books dont have whole paragraphs describing how a boy looks in the sunlight.
Maybe in the Darren Shan Saga, never read those books, but i enjoy True Blood.
I’m sorry, but those Twilight guys take it soo much further both in concept and in the ridiculous fan base. I don’t think any of those comes close on the suckometer…
+1. Strahd always wins.
The first pic came from a DM screen for Ravenloft… Dear God, I’m a nerd.
Strahd FTW! *is shot*
I am, even! *rezzes*
That was seriously a good book, by P.N. Elrod, a writer who also has her own vampire series that rocks. (Vampire Detective Noir)
Thanks to this seriesm the word “vampire” has a somewhat shallow and tween-esque ring to it.
I don’t like Twilight, but I’m furiously sick of this unoriginal content >_>
I hate Twilight like most middle-schoolers hate math tests, but you really do have to wonder what happened. I mean, a year ago, most teenage girls were gushing over how hot Edward is, how hot Jacob is, etc., etc. And now, well, there are still people like that, but they’re treated like losers, instead of involved in a lengthy conversation about Bella and Edward and blah blah blah. It’s . . . weird how things change just like that.
You do all know that vampires aren’t real, don’t you?
eh, thats just what the government wants you to think
LOL!!!! i cant breath!
ok, we get it, Twilight isn’t a legitimate “vampire movie,” can we stop making lol’s about it now?
kthnx
NEVAH! for as long as this crap exists we shall make the lol’s!
no just until the fan girls admit that its crap and stop supporting it.
a group of people at my college were having an argument. One guy was saying Bella dies and 7 girls were saying she doesn’t. I ask what they are talking about since i made it a point never to see or read it. He says that Edward bites her to save her from a poison. He says the bite kills her and turns her into a vampire. The girls were saying that she never dies. I tell them that if she is bitten by a vampire she is considered dead and the guy thanks me.
“But on that note, she does not die”
The guy looks at me with a betrayed expression on his face and i explain. “If she we’re bitten by a vampire, she would die. However, she was not bitten by a vampire. She was bitten by a werefairy.”
It’s amazing that you have sooo much free time to sit around and discuss the crappiness of twilight. Haha. But let me offer a perspective maybe some of you haven’t thought of. Perhaps twilight is so popular because many of its fanbase have never heard of anne rice or any of the other ‘legit’ authors of books based on vampirism. The fan base for twilight is genuinely from ages 10-20, I would suppose. For the majority of the people who read it, this is the only introduction into vampirism they have. And the reason most parents approve of it is because it’s wishy washy not real. Come on, in modern conformist crappy society most parents don’t want their kids introduced to the ‘true’ vampires. It would shake their little cookie cutter world. Just an opinion. (And my username has nothing to do with twilight, and if u kno even an inkling of italian you will know this)
I agree with you on the fact that parents probably don’t want their kids exposed to anything that would, like, introduce them to the idea that, yeah, there are “Bad” people who want to hurt you. (New Disney, just sayin‘)
But, and this isn’t arguing with you, the whole series promotes abusive relationships and weak women who can’t do anything but obsess over their guy. I know the parents in my family would much rather have their kids watching “true” vampire movies or other horror movies then this crap because the women in those generally have to defend themselves ’cause the guy they loved either died or is trying to kill them.
And as for the “Never seen a vampire movie before” thing, I can’t speak because everyone I know was watching vampire movies since they were 9. But it is a great theory. Might be right, can’t say though.
You win. Do I know you?
Twilight joke FTL.
Strahd von Zarovich +3 FTW.
yes, i have a question. i agree.
You, my dear sir/madam, have won 10 free internets. Kudos for the funny.
then why is he biting my neck?!!!?
(Raise my hand)
Professor, I wonder If Jacob isn’t the werewolf too?
Question: What is Indiana Jones’s dad doing here?
Question: Is Jacob Black an animagus?
Completely true, and the sparklepire is like vampires only in the fact that they both drink blood, vampires cannot survive off of animal blood and do not sparkle.